What to Do if Your Ex Violates Child Custody Orders
Parenting plans lay out each parent’s obligation to their children. Most parenting plans are drawn up and adopted after divorce, although you might have created a plan if you never married the child’s other parent. A judge typically adopts a parenting plan as part of a judicial order, and parents are expected to follow it. The plan is not a list of suggestions—instead, it lays out what each parent must do.
A key part of the parenting plan is identifying who will have the children in their possession and for how long. There might be a weekly schedule, with days and times for dropping off the child with the other parent or picking them up.
Inevitably, conflict will erupt between parents regarding something in the parenting plan. Often, one parent will refuse to hand the children over, possibly for weekend visitation. The parent might have endless excuses—the child is sick, or the child has a school event which you weren’t told about, and so on. We have heard all kinds of excuses.
Call Surasky Law Firm. A child custody lawyer in Aiken, SC will help explain what to do if the other parent violates the custody order. Belowe, we sketch out a few steps you should take.
Document the Violation
You must keep detailed notes about everything to show a judge. We often end up in court to vindicate your rights under the parenting plan, but a judge wants evidence. We recommend:
Save emails and text messages from the other parent. They might send a quick text telling you that your child isn’t coming for overnight visitation. Preserve these communications.
Write down detailed notes about any conversation in person or over the phone. Include the day and time that you spoke.
Note anything your child told you. Their story might differ from the other parent's.
Show You Were Ready and Available to Take Possession of Your Child
Your parenting plan should identify where child exchanges take place. In some cases, you agree to meet at a fast food restaurant or a shopping mall. If so, document that you were there ready and willing to take possession of your child.
You can go inside a store and make a purchase, which will show the date and time on a receipt. That’s an excellent piece of evidence. Otherwise, you might record a video on your phone showing you were at the exchange location.
It’s critical to show up even if you already received a phone call from your ex telling you they weren’t coming. Still go to the exchange location at the correct time. This shows the judge you were more than able to take possession of your child.
Discuss Violations with Your Ex (if You Can)
Sometimes, an ex violates the parenting plan because their life has changed, and everything is so much busier. Eventually, parenting plans get out of date. The parenting plan might have been adopted when your child was a baby. Now she’s 14. As your child ages, they can:
Develop friendships with peers and want to spend time with them.
Participate in after-school activities, such as band, theater, or sports. Your child might be busy on weekends going to extracurricular activities.
Get braces or have other medical appointments, like dermatology appointments, which can only happen when you were expecting to see your children.
Don’t assume your ex is being mean and trying to keep your children from you. There could be rational reasons your child can’t make it to go see you.
In these cases, it might be time to revise the parenting plan so that it works with everyone’s schedule. You can meet with your ex and revise the plan to something more suitable. You can then submit it to the judge and have it approved, incorporating it into a judicial order.
What happens if you and your ex can’t communicate, or you suspect your ex is really “striking back” at you by lying that your child is busy? In that case, you should call our firm. It might be time to involve the courts.
Seek Sanctions and a Contempt Order
When your ex flagrantly violates the parenting plan, you should bring it to a judge’s attention. We can file a request for enforcement in the court that issued the parenting plan. Essentially, we ask the judge to find your ex in violation of the existing custody order.
A judge will probably demand that your ex “show cause” for why they shouldn’t be held in contempt. This means you’ll have a hearing. You can present evidence showing that your ex refused to drop off the children or violated the parenting plan in some other way. Your ex can tell the judge their side of the story.
A judge has options when it comes to enforcement. They might only give a stern verbal warning. Or the judge might even revise the parenting plan based on your suggestions.
If your ex is in contempt, then a judge might fine your ex or even send them to jail until they agree to start following the parenting plan. Being in contempt is serious. It means a person is flagrantly violating a court’s order.
Discuss with your attorney what type of enforcement you are interested in. Revising the parenting plan? Now is the time. Seeking contempt? We can ask a court to fine or even jail your ex (although this is a big step).
Call Surasky Law Firm to Discuss Child Custody Enforcement
Co-parenting is difficult, even in the best of situations where ex-spouses get along. Shuttling children between two homes is demanding and hard for people whose lives are full with other activities and jobs. Contact us if you believe your ex is violating the parenting plan. You deserve to see your children, regardless of how busy everyone has become since the court adopted the current parenting plan. We can discuss possible steps, including enforcement actions in the court and how to gather relevant evidence.
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